Countless times throughout the scriptures, we are told that our experiences are for our sake. Adam and Eve were told that the ground was cursed for their sake (Genesis 3:17). In the Book of Mormon, God rewards the righteous Nephites by blessing the land with wealth and plenty for their sake (Alma 45:15-16, 46:10, 62:40). When Joseph Smith cried out to God from Liberty Jail, Missouri "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" God responds with a firm but loving answer: "...know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." Both the pain and the joy we experience throughout our lives are for our good and give us the experience we need.
I honestly don’t know when my dad began sexually abusing me, I just know that it wouldn’t stop. So in 2012 I left. First, I lived in my grandparent’s home, then in a stranger’s home, then in a distant relative’s home. I was on a constant roller coaster of emotions. Nightmares made me scared to fall asleep, depression made me afraid to wake up. I would sit by my sister as she was trying to fall asleep, and she lay in bed crying, as I tried to soothe her fears in a strange place, with strange people, in a strange situation with no parents to support and make up for the complete confusion and conflict that had taken over her life. Daughter became mother and mother became child, and the man I once called daddy became a nightmare come to life. No longer was my family all that it once had been... no longer could I depend on my root source of support. And, at that point, I realized I was done. I could never arrive at happiness. How could I? Sexual abuse and my shattered family would leave me scarred forever.
However, the family that I was staying with saw what I was making my life into. They saw the ashes. And so they began to introduce that very emotion which I believed would never enter my life again: Joy.
I sat down with the parents, and we began to identify the simple joys in my life. They knew that each of us already have a store of potential joy-creators hidden within us; we all have natural talents and abilities which are waiting to be developed and made a part of our lives. It is up to us to actually weave it into our lives. As we talked, singing, discovering the excitements of life with children, and playing the piano all went on my list of what I loved to do. As I added these to my life, joy began to slowly, then quickly spread throughout my life.
I stand before you today, well on my way to becoming completely healed. I cannot begin to express the gratitude I feel towards those who have and continue to bring me to a life full of light and happiness. Because of God's goodness in blessing and cursing me for my sake, my life is full of trip-ups, laughter, awkward moments, victories, and most important of all, joy.
Welcome to the record of the life of Mary Moore.
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